Watching MTV lately is like watching wild animals let out of the zoo run amok. The Jersey Shore was way too short. I think there’s only one episode left to watch Ronnie and Sammie have milquetoast whine fests, Snooks continue to expose her outlandishly naked insecurities (and apparently her genitalia, which is blurred out in almost every episode), Mike creep out, Pauly D have his whole life stalked… It’s probably the most compelling television in ages. I knew from the first episode that I’d be addicted to this show, but I had no idea how serious my addiction—and apparently everyone else around me—would become. I just wish Angelina hadn’t left… I can only imagine how much more insane the show would have been with her.

The new Real World season elicited at first only a lukewarm reaction from me. Maybe it was because of the lead-ups to it, pushing some sort of contrived political tension between the cast members, but it seemed boring and contrived at first. But then Ty demanded that Emily “don’t lose eye contact” with him while he demanded that she tell him how she feels about him, and like, he’s such a totally creepy monster than my roommates and I were riveted to the screen. It’s not quite as fascinating to watch as the Jersey Shore… well, at least not yet. Kind of creepy:

And speaking of the Real World… Joey from the Hollywood season admitted on Celebrity Rehab that he was on tons of cocaine during the whole season, which in retrospect seems really obvious, but at the time we just thought he was like…  a totally terrifying hulking beast who used outrageous amounts of coffee to get over drinking alcohol. I mean… let’s refresh our memories here: